Peace In Mindset Coaching

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In my endless search for peace, I recently stumbled upon the incredible privilege of talking with Mindset Coach, Elizabeth Hope Derby. Have you ever heard of a mindset coach before? What does this kind of coaching entail? Does your mind need setting?! What is happening?!

Well, I will tell you. A mindset coach is an individual who, in Elizabeth’s words, can “define your vision,” “free your voice,” and help you “own your value.”

WOW. WOW. WOW.

I have known Elizabeth for a long time. But recently, the growth and development of her coaching business led me to ask more, more, more questions about this fascinating world of hers. And since she is 100% committed to learning, growth, and mastery, she honors every opportunity to spread the word on what she does and how it works.

While Elizabeth works primarily with business owners and entrepreneurs, at her core, this intelligent, present, enthusiastic woman knows how to talk to people. She understands something fundamental and extraordinary about life and how to function in it. She knows how to help people find peace and fulfillment. She recognizes that, “What you actually need is to cultivate the courage to create.”

Elizabeth and I spoke for nearly an hour about her coaching, her journey, and how she’s come to do what she does. As in all other areas of her life, Elizabeth speaks in her bubbly tone, while remaining candid and honest. She speaks with authority about coaching because she knows it so well.

“I became became a coach to help people embody the clarity and confidence we develop on paper… to uncover the truth of what they really want, then go out there and live it,” she says. When I ask for clarity on this, Elizabeth explains that, “I believe each one of us possesses a unique blend of skills and passions that, if leveraged in service for the highest good of all, allows us to play our vital role in the global ecosystem.”

She is the kind of person who fully acknowledges that every single person matters. And that means something to a person like me, who wants to see the good in everyone, to find the peace in each of us and to help promote that.  

Elizabeth goes on to tell me that, “I can’t stand seeing people (especially smart, strong women) put their passions on hold or talk themselves out of pursuing their true desires because they’re getting steamrolled by self-criticism and systems that oppress the power of feminine skills and strength. The world needs leaders who are willing to wield their creativity, sensitivity, nurturing, and compassion as tools for justice and wealth creation.” 

I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to speak with an individual who knows how to access the super-highway to our own amazingness. Elizabeth asks real questions and provides real talk to hone in on what her clients would love to accomplish. She helps to refine her clients’ mindset so they can think clearly. Then she finds and articulates real next steps toward success.

How does she do all this and more?

She listens.

She remains present.

She thinks.

And she acts.

With compassion, empathy, and dedication.

I left my conversation with Elizabeth feeling peaceful. Aside from the fact that she’s witty, hilarious, insightful, and fun, she is a business savvy lady who knows what success looks like (in all its forms). She clearly knows knows how to help others achieve it. She is not a therapist. She is a coach, and she seeks to show you how to achieve your dreams.

She’s the person you call when you’re ready to step into your joy. She is the person to call when you have been fighting self doubt, comparisonitis, and/or dissatisfaction for TOO LONG. Elizabeth is the coach who helps you get on track with goals that will mean something to you. But Elizabeth, specifically, is the coach you call when you are ready to do the work.

If you’re interested in learning more, I can’t recommend Elizabeth more highly. Check her out on her website or instagram handle. You will be impressed, pleased, and oh, so peaceful that you’ve finally taken a step in the right direction.

What brought you peace this week? Share the peace!

Peace in Staring

Our breakfast nook has a huge French door that I completely hate. It’s drafty because the door is old and I want to change it. We’re not redoing the kitchen any time soon, so it’s something we’ve decided to live with for now.

As is the case with most things I hate or that drive me crazy, there is peace to be found, if I’m willing to stop and wait and watch.

This morning, the sun came out. It’s still pretty cold in our neck of the woods (below 30 degrees in the morning) but the birds were chirping and the sky looked super blue. And all of my kids sat at the breakfast table staring out that huge French door.

I couldn’t help but picture my paternal grandfather (since passed) who used to spend hours sitting in front of his living room windows, in a tan club chair, wearing a man’s white undershirt and slacks. He lived in the Catskills with my grandmother, on a 5 acre parcel of land where he liked to grow vegetables and invite friends to stay.

Much of my childhood, I can only picture the man either outside with a hat or inside, staring at the vast nature in front of him. There were no other houses, buildings, or people visible from his window. He could only see birds, deer, the occasional fox, and lots of butterflies.

This morning, my little family chewed its breakfast in silence. Every little person stared out the window and took in– who knows what. The road below us? The cars traveling to work and school? The birds skipping between branches? The brilliant sky? The swaying trees? The budding leaves on our maple trees?

The what is not so important as the why.

We stare because it is so peaceful. It’s so comforting. It’s so lovely. I hope you can start your day with the same kind of peace. This morning, I was thankful for the peace, the quiet, and the memory of other times when such peace was present: in the Catskills with an old man and his soft but enduring presence.

What brought you peace this week? Share the peace.

Peace in Building New Things

Two Christmases ago the kiddos got a zip line from Santa Claus. I guess Santa failed to do much research before having his elves put this one together because we really didn’t have appropriate trees to accommodate this mountain of fun. A year past and we failed to hang the zip line up.

The kids didn’t seem too upset about it, as we always have so much going on. There are always millions of things to do. Then, something odd happened. I saw the zip line in the garage and decided it HAD to go up. I pulled the box from its place and let it nag me for a few more months.

Then, the seasons changed and Hubs hired a tree company (shoutout to AC Tree company out of West Chester!) to remove a few trees from our property. There is a significant wooded section in our backyard with a ton of trees, shrubs, vines, and super random things growing. After the company came to cut out a huge tree, I suddenly realized that a part of our wood section has a broad flat section. I suddenly saw A LOT of super flat land. There were only two problems (1) the entire area was covered in thorny pricker bushes and (2) there wasn’t a path or a way to access the flat area.

Well, call me crazy. Or call me a problem solver. Or call me a crazy amazing problem solver. I cut into the land. I cleared a path. A found the least steep spot I could and carved out a footpath. Then, over the course of a few days, I cleared the thorny bushes. A lot of them. Slowly. Little by little. But you know what? I found a new patch of land I didn’t even know we could use. And Hubs found two trees where would could easily hang a zip line.

I would not call this an easy feat. But it was incredible. And empowering. Can you think of a better project to make you feel strong than hauling ass and yanking vines and mischievous plants from the earth?

No, you can’t. Maybe liken it to labor? I felt pretty strong and incredible after giving birth.

I wrangled those weeds and obnoxious greens like Wonder Woman and loved every minute. And when it was all done, my kids had a new space where they can play, be creative, run, jump, and zip their little hearts out. It doesn’t get much better than that.

Next time you’re feeling a little down, a little less than, a little wanton for something more, consider building something. Anything. Go use your hands and your mind and make something. Even if it’s in a place you never knew was there to begin with.

Because at the end of all this, while I may have felt proud and glad for the kiddos and totally pleased with myself, I also felt peace. I felt that calm knowing fall on my heart that abundance is everywhere. And everything I needed was already staring me in the face.

What brought you peace this week? Share the peace.

Peace in Delays

I get frustrated sometimes when there is a delay. Whether it’s that we are running late, we have to reschedule something, or plans have to get pushed, I get annoyed at the very thought of it. Because WHYYYYYY?

I’m laughing at myself as I write this, hearing how ridiculous it is. Why get annoyed? Why be bothered at all? Who cares? Does time really matter all that much?

A few weeks ago, we let the kiddos watch the old version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Gene Wilder is so fantastic and the movie has an almost irksome quality, since Roald Dahl depicted Wonka as such a strange fellow. But the lessons of the story ring true, whether Willy Wonka is a little off or not.

Among other things, this story is about gluttony in a few of its forms. It’s about the excess we pursue for ourselves and ultimately teach to our children. Augustus loves food, Violet loves gum, Mike loves tv and Veruca? Well, she just loves everything.

Thankfully, the hard lessons of gluttony and it’s consequences are delivered in song and dance, so we parents don’t feel completely foolish. Instead, we sing and laugh at how absurdly overly giving we’ve been with our kids. We give them everything. We share the wealth we’ve worked for and because we don’t always have to say no, we don’t. Sure, we need to practice saying “no” more often…but maybe tomorrow. Just keep singing…

But such a practice, in grave excess, is teaching our children lessons unforeseen from the beginning. Giving and giving and sharing so much becomes troublesome. Because life isn’t about things and it isn’t about being “the Giving Tree” either— that only makes a person so depleted, you can do nothing but sit as your stumpy self and sigh.

While Roald Dahl seems to have it all right, I nearly forgot one of his most important lessons: that of Veruca Salt, which brings me back to the “now” lesson I started writing about here.

When Veruca Salt gets to sing her song in the movie, it’s called “I Want It Now.” While the obvious takeaway from this song is that Veruca wants absolutely everything (and that’s just no good) there is also the subtle reality that she’s also asking for things “now.” She doesn’t just want the whole world, she wants it immediately.

There’s a lesson here for everyone, isn’t there? We can want things. And we can want them to happen sooner than later. But the desire of something immediately is almost as bad, if not worse, than wanting the thing at all. Wanting things “now” makes them tragically harder to obtain sometimes, and that added challenge makes it frustrating.

But does it matter? Why do children want things immediately? And how is that the most childish thing I can think of? The image of my little girl stomping her foot and saying, “no, NOW!!!!”

When I realized this idea: the thought that Veruca’s self absorption and greed are also tied to an immediate need for action, I saw how juvenile such gluttony is. And letting go of such a concept can be liberating. It can bring so much peace. What if I want something, but I tell myself it doesn’t have to happen right now? What if it can happen whenever it’s meant to? It can happen in a month or a year. How much added stress would be alleviated with the notion that time doesn’t have to be a contributing factor in getting the things that I want?

How relevant is “now?”

I meditated on this idea and found such peace. I breathed into this and felt a calming presence. Because maybe time is less important than I thought. Maybe Roald Dahl knew something about it, too.

Regardless of what the truth is, I remain grateful for the book and it’s movie adaptation. And I’m grateful my kids are working on being “less of a Veruca.” I’m grateful to be working on the same lesson myself.

What brought you peace this week? Share the peace!