Peace and Love In My Thirties

I’ve recently become obsessed with a reality show on Netflix called “Indian Matchmaker.” It’s about an Indian Matchmaker named Sima Taparia. She’s from Mumbai and is, according to the show, the top matchmaker there.

This lady is clever, kind, and seemingly very good at her job. She understands something about people that they don’t understand about themselves. Or at least she knows something about the nature of relationships. To me, that might be one of the most interesting and useful skills a person can have. To really see people and see how they will successfully or unsuccessfully interact with others.

It’s like watching magic.

My husband laughs at me.

“You like the show because you never dated in your 30’s,” he says. “Simple as that.”

He’s right. We met in our twenties and we’ve been together ever since. I’ve known and loved Hubs for over 16 years.

“You like imagining what you would do on all those crazy dates,” he says.

Sometimes I yell at the screen.

“Oh, come on!” I say. “That’s not what love is about!”

I say this when the people on the show share what they’d like to find in an ideal mate. They want a person with a certain height. A certain physique. A particular set of hobbies.

“I want her to be introverted but also extraverted, also,” one guys says.

That doesn’t make sense to me and I wonder if he knows what he really wants at all.

I’m also fascinated to watch some of these people fall in love. Because they do! Some of them find their perfect someone and it is awesome. It makes me think, “what is love?” and “where does it come from?” and “how do people click?”

I also think about how love changes. When we were young, love was the giddy excitement of seeing each other and getting to know each other. It was the fascination and awe of feeling surprised to learn some things and relieved to learn others.

Now that we’re in our thirties, love is about other things, too. Like remembering not only each others’ favorite ice cream flavors, but which brand and grocery store we prefer.

Talenti Pistachio from Target? Was it on sale? NICE!”

High fives all around.

Love is also about cleaning the nasty rotten meat juice from the fridge, after it spoiled and spilled into every crevice of the fridge.

“You have a sensitive gag reflex. I’ll take care of it.”

When you’re on a reality tv show, you can’t ask if the other person is willing to clean rotten meat for you. I mean, I guess you can, but will they be honest? Wouldn’t everyone just say “yes?”

I’ll keep watching my show and wondering about the folks who are learning about love. But peace always finds me at the end of an episode. When the show is done and I have that knowing calmness on my heart. Because I picked a good one. And I somehow managed to have him pick me back.