He had a mishap in our home. I closed the garage door without knowing Hubs had just gotten home. When I get home, I get out of the car and close the garage door. So, I did this, and in the few seconds that he arrived home, saw the door was open and began to back in, I had already hit the trigger to close the door.
Sweet Hubs backed right into the garage door. The door is damaged. The truck is damaged: various parts broken, windshield shattered, you get the picture. At this point, two insurance claims have been filed (one for home, one for auto), 2 deductibles will be paid, and most of the repair items are on order.
You can probably imagine that this event was cause for some stress. And a million different thoughts.
Of course, we’re grateful no one was hurt.
Of course, accidents happen. We’ve moved forward and correct everything. All the phone calls are done for now. Once the logistical part of things was settled, my mind had space to whine.
Because this was supposed to be the month of savings.
This was supposed to be the month of seeing a real change. Now, all that I saved will go toward paying the deductibles for our insurance.
On the one hand, I can choose to mope. All that hard work…..and now this huge unexpected bill.
On the other hand, there’s plenty to be grateful for:
1) No one was hurt— we are all safe and unscathed and in great health right now
2) We have great insurance (State Farm got back to us sooooo quickly and efficiently, and everyone was so kind on the phone.) Sidebar: Our agent, Jonathan Duncan has always been a great guy to work with. Check him out if you need a rep.
3) Our lives will not be impacted too greatly by this event. Sure, there will be appointments and calls and waiting for things to be resolved. But it’s not that big a deal in the long run.
4) I can tell that my ego was running the show—getting upset and disappointed, but I know how to get her back in check nowadays. I talk to her and tell her it’s all going to be ok.
And guess what else? Instead of having a knee jerk reaction, I noticed that typical pattern—that usual response.
I wanted to buy something.
I wanted to get onto one of my favorite apps and purchase something shiny and new to feel better.
I didn’t want a hug from Hubs. I didn’t want to be comforted or held. I just wanted to close the door, curl up into my favorite chair and look at pretty things. I wanted a distraction from my discomfort, and I wanted it all by myself. I didn’t want to need someone else to satisfy that.
Last night, I ended up reading a little, finishing up some work on my laptop, and then I went to bed early. I figured extra rest was a great way to re-regulate after a day of stressful phone calls and big feelings.
Seeing this tendency within myself is a huge revelation. I’m grateful for this challenge because it is showing me more than I ever expected to learn. So, now I have questions for myself:
- Why don’t I seek physical comfort?
- Why is shopping a comfort reaction?
- What would become a better behavior, moving forward?
For tonight, I don’t have answers. Just more questions. But answers are on their way. I have a tendency to figure things out with a little more pondering.
What are you learning from the challenge? Share your experience and share the insights you’re gaining!
And as always, namaste, every day!
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4 the Love of Peace 