Day 30: Living in Integrity

I wrote over the weekend about my purchase at the plant store. A friend asked how I felt about it.

“Is it over? Did you fail the challenge?”

Call me crazy, but I don’t think so. Not even close.

recalling the purpose

Instead of focusing on the flub, I have asked myself about the purpose of this challenge.

• What did I want to accomplish?
• What did I want to gain?
• How did I want to change?

I think that a lot of times in life, the end result is just as important as the process. And, by golly, this is one heck of a process.

To answer my questions: I wanted the following:

• I wanted a heightened awareness of money and how I spend it
• I wanted a more intentional buying/spending/shopping habit
• I wanted to change the way I think and feel about money and shopping

It’s only 30 days in, and these goals have been met.

living in integrity

I’m a huge fan of pretty much every single book I can get my hands on by Martha Beck. If you’ve never read her work, I really recommend The Way of Integrity, and Finding Your Own North Star.

In her books, Beck uses language like, “finding alignment with your integrity,” which is a fancy way of saying, “do what feels like you.” A problem occurs when we lose track of our truest selves. I don’t know if this has been the case for you, but I grew up, went to college, thought I’d found myself, had kids, and lost myself somewhere along the way. Deciphering the truest version of me is not always easy to do.

But when I bought that flat of zinnias, I didn’t feel guilty or weird or bad.

I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE I WAS BREAKING THE CHALLENGE.

My takeaway from this experience is the following: buying flowers and planting them makes me very happy. It is in alignment with my true self. It is something I am happy to spend money on. Being a gardener is a part of my soul.

moving forward

Thanks to the challenge, I don’t plan to buy any more “extra” stuff with my remaining 60 days (even more flowers). But, I won’t chide myself over the slip, either. I’m human. This is life. And I have collected a bag of lessons in the process.

Turns out, I am very much a garden person, and that’s pretty cool.

How is the challenge going for you? Fill me in! I want to hear all about your adventures!

Namaste, every day!

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