When Parenting Plans Change (and You Say Yes Anyway)

When my daughter begged me for singing lessons, I acquiesced, especially when our local music studio offered a 50% off deal around the holidays.

LM3 loves music, singing, playing piano, and more. But something didn’t click for her when she finally arrived at her lessons.

“Please don’t make me go back,” LM3 said. “Please, please, don’t make me.”

Kids can be fickle in this way. Hubs and I have learned this over the years. They ask for things and later revoke the request. Soccer lessons go awry, play dates lead to tears, and toys they “had to have” are sometimes the absolute worst. Have you seen one of THESE? (We got one as a birthday gift…kindly ask me about this disaster another time…)

We don’t force our kids to do most things. I don’t want my kids to be quitters, but if there are lots of tears, nightmares, or anxious behaviors around participation in an activity, we won’t persist.

When it came to her voice lessons, LM3 was insistent. She DID NOT want to go back. But since I’d already prepaid for the month, we were in a big of a pickle. But you know what I like to do with pickles? I look on the bright side and turn it into something positive. Mostly because I love pickles….

The director of our music studio was ok with this solution: I would take the voice lessons instead.

Trying New Things In the Name of Grit

I have never been a “singer.” I DID sing in choirs or ensembles when I participated in musical theater productions in high school. I have never received formal training, or known whether or not I was hitting the right notes. But I wasn’t about the let those lessons go to waste. So, I decided I’d have a little fun. I scheduled the lessons at the same time that our middle son has trumpet classes.

I keep telling myself that new opportunities offer a chance to practice grit. At least, that’s what Angela Duckworth says, and I’m pretty sure the New York Times Best Seller List agreed most of what she had to say.

If you haven’t read her book, I highly recommend it, as it puts a new spin on trying. Duckworth argues that success isn’t about talent—it’s about showing up, working hard, and refusing to quit long after the novelty has worn off.

So, maybe I didn’t want to sing, but the moment presented itself, and the sheer act of sticking with it could teach me something unexpected.

My first lesson was a “get to know you” period. We sang Christmas songs and tried to figure out my vocal range. The instructor was kind and patient. I didn’t notice anything monumentally life-changing, but we had fun.

The Quiet Moment That Taught Me More Than the Lesson

Fast-forward to January.

As I mentioned, our middle kiddo takes trumpet lessons. He LOVES them, but last week he forgot his trumpet at school. That meant he would need to skip his music lesson and join me in vocal lessons.

LM2 was embarrassed and uncomfortable having to sit in on my lesson. He didn’t want to be there and tucked himself promptly into a corner while we worked through scales.

LM2 may have looked tuned out, but he wasn’t at all. My man was listening, probably better than I was. In the middle of a song, I leaned forward on my chair, looking at the lyrics on the sheet music I shared with my instructor.

With the open space that had grown at the back of my chair, LM2 snuck up behind me and slowly settled his hands at the top of my back, helping me to drop my shoulders away from my ears.

Earlier during the lesson, my instructor let me know that I have a tendency to pick up my shoulders when I sing. I guess I get a little nervous. Maybe I don’t quite relax when I’m trying hard and concentrating. LM2 heard the note and helped me to make the change in my body.

He helped me to relax.

This little gesture was so generous of heart. I thought my son would want to sing with us. Instead, he wanted to help me sing. It was the softest, gentlest showing of empathy. It completely melted my heart. I have always seen my son’s incredible heart, but this moment helped to remind me that as he grows, he’s continually leaning into his peaceful nature.

If nothing else comes from this little vocal lesson lineup, I can rest easy with the gratitude of seeing this incredible quality in my son. If I can teach myself anything from this, it’s that I need to keep looking for the moments when my children show their personalities to me. They’re everywhere. But how closely am I looking?

Every single day, we show each other who we are through our words and actions. The question is: how closely am I paying attention?

Being calm, present, and at peace means being aware enough to see these precious moments. I don’t practice peace for the sake of keeping cool. Peace also allows me to be thrilled, joyful, uplifted, and grounded. Peace allows me to see and feel life’s most precious moments.

What brought you peace this week? Share the peace!

Namaste. Every. Day.

#peacefulmoments #lifelessons #stillness #awareness