Day 14: SAYING “NO” TO MY KID CONSUMERS

MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO

I’m sorry to say that my kids have adopted my bad behavior. When we walk into a store, they have an awareness that we can buy things. They know they can ask for stuff. They don’t ask for things in an obnoxious, whiny way, but they ask for stuff we don’t need. Which, I’d say is pretty normal kid behavior.

If they ask, the answer has typically been “YES!” Need a new lip balm? Sure. Nail polish. Ok. Baseball cards? Definitely. They point and ask politely, and the answer is usually, “Sure, honey.”

And the logic has been: “Why not? This is why we work so hard. This is why we earn money…to say “yes” when we want to.”

But now, I’m thinking (A) perhaps I’ve done more bad than good and (B) maybe this isn’t what we’re working for.

MAYBE I WAS WRONG

What if we’ve been giving our children more things than lessons and values? What if they have more stuff than our time and presence?

My mind keeps returning to the idea of “intention.” If I want to live by my intentions and teach this to the kids, so I must continuously ask these grounding questions. When the kids ask for something they want, I had never before established the routine of asking, “Why do you want it?” Because this is a question I wasn’t clear enough in asking myself.

Now that I’m doing better, I want to pass this along.

CONSUMER CULTURE STRIKES AGAIN

Consumer culture has taught us to keep saying yes. We’ve been taught that desiring things is normal behavior. Purchasing the things we desire is completely normal as well. But why? Why do we need to acquire so much? 

The constant consumption of goods is what keeps the economy going! It’s what keeps our nation thriving! We can have whatever we want whenever we want it because we are powerful, successful, and in control. 

But is that true?

TAKING BACK CONTROL

I did not feel in control. But things are changing. I like having the personal control to pause and consider why I may want something before following through.

I had a strange fear that saying “no” would make the kids feel like we weren’t well off. They would feel restricted or held back. I don’t know why I thought this. I don’t remember feeling this way as a kid. But it’s a fear of a feeling that has kept me saying “yes” to all the stuff.

So, while I practice my #NoBuyChallenge, I’m also practicing “no” with the kids. We’re reworking our family’s spending habits as a unit. And so far, I think this is for the better.

How is it going for you? Tell me everything! I can’t wait to hear of your successes! Share in the comments or on the FB page. Be well, friends. Namaste Every Day.